Hmmmm...

My head is full of these two thoughts today:

1) I just want to go home

2) I want my mom.

The problem is I AM at home and I AM the mom.

Jacob

Edward is not a bad guy for a vampire, I don't hate him or anything. I just think that the right choice for Bella's long term happiness is Jacob.





Reasons I think that Bella should choose Jacob.





*He is warm.


*When he kisses her he thinks of real SEX and not just the possible food source flowing through her veins


*He would do anything for her.


*She can have children with him.


*His skin doesn't sparkle in the sun.


*They enjoy each others company in many satisfying ways, not just the heart racing blah blah blah.


*She doesn't have to give up who she is to be with him


*He may seem a little young and rough around the edges, but he's only 17. Edward has had hundreds of years to develop charm etc.


*Will Edward really love her when she is a vampire. It seems the things that he is enamored with are her scent (which will change when she becomes a vampire), her humaness, (which will also change) and his inability to read her thoughts (which makes her a mystery to him, will this change? We don't know).


*Edward is her first love. He is something between a teenage crush and hero worship.

* Jacob is loyal, giving, funny and strong. He can eat food, real food. And he's warm. And Bella feels good about herself when she's with him instead of feeling like she'll never measure up. And, and, and.

mother's day report (just a little late)

TRADITIONS

1-- Breakfast in bed with flowers, bouncing kids and coffee almost spilling.

2-- Presents and cards. I received 8 cards from my 3 kids and 1 husband. How much do they love me? You do the math. Cash's card read "Mother's Day has bloomed in love" and Sage's cards are, of course, amazing and varied in their artistic approach. I'll add pictures later. Cooper didn't have time to finish his gift coupons from school and told me I could fill them out. We settled on "Slave for a day".

3-- A hike to Rocky Mouth waterfall to measure how the level of whining has changed from year to year. I almost thought we would have to find a new hike because the kids did not whine AT ALL on the way up, but Sage saved it for us by having a breakdown because she didn't eat the mac and cheese I fixed for them before we left and she was starving.

NON-TRADITIONS that I think we will make traditions

1-- A nap. (Ahhhhhhh)

2-- Sushi for dinner. Jason made the fancy stuff. I made the tempura battered spicy tuna rolls. (All of it delicious. Mmmmmmmmm.)

the miracle of life

The kids planted their Joshua Tree seeds that we brought back as souvenir for them. They LOVE watching things grow. Our strawberry plants are flowering and the tulips are dying and my flower beds are full of grass that I need to remove. And the seasons keep passing.

I didn't even yell when Cash spilled his potting soil all over the place.

advice from cash

This morning Cash said to me, "Mom, try not to get mistaken about if your hungry or thirsty or sick." Wisdom in his own way?

money and friends

Hooray! George Bush just sent me some money. He shouldn't have. I mean he REALLY shouldn't have. For one thing, I don't think its going to help the economy. It's not going to get anyone out from under a mortgage that shouldn't have been given to them in the first place or pay for an illness that they don't have insurance coverage for. Our government is overburdened right now. We are funding an immoral war, the environment is going to hell, and the national deficit is at an all time high. For another thing, I still don't want to be his friend. It didn't work the first time. It's not going to work this time.




I like money. I love money. I want LOTS of money. When I have lots of money, I can travel and eat anything I want, I can have nice things and maybe a bigger house and a car that doesn't smell like stale french fries. I can take my sisters and all their kids to France. But do I care if YOU have money? Not so much. I am happy for you if you do (at least if you are also a kind person)(okay and maybe a little jealous). If you are mean or thoughtless then I think you don't deserve your money and God (or someone) should see to it that you don't have it anymore. It's too bad that's not the way the world works.



Anyway, back to George Bush. He is like a little boy--his swaggering, his snickering, his blustering and bullying, his trying to pay the american people to raise his standing in the public opinion polls. Seems his Mama did not teach him the lesson about how money can't buy friends.




Well that was a rant. Thanks for the money George. Your still not invited for Sushi on Saturday night.

Cash

Cash is an ordinary kid. Cash is an extraordinary kid. And that's the way it is with Cash.

When he was a baby I called him a screaming ball of baby flesh. He was one of those little humans that cries, eats, sleeps and then does it all over again for about six weeks straight. He was also one of those babies that you want to hold forever because he was so pleasingly plump and SNUGGLY. As he got a little older he would COO at his toys in the sweetest way. And then he played with his toys in an extremely focused and intense way.

He does all the normal kid things and he says the most hilarious and unusual things. He is my only child that was ever attached to one particular stuffed animal. Well, actually two stuffed animals. He had a little polar bear named George who was supposed to keep the bad dreams away and George wasn't doing the job so we got George a polar bear friend who was bigger and could keep the bad dreams away. It was so cute. He really believed it would work and it did. He loved them and would play for hours with them. One day when he was about 5 I heard him crying in his bed. He said "I can't hear them talking to me anymore. I keep trying but I just can't hear them." He was heart broken. It was like he was mourning the passing of his own childhood. It hurt to hear it. Then when he was 6 he said "This is stupid. I am 6 years old. What am I doing sleeping with these teddy bears." And that was the end of that.

He pretty much taught himself to read when he was 4 years old. All due to his love for electronic things with buttons and the fabulous invention of computer reading games. (OK I did read to him alot from a very young age too.) Because he learned to read so early and because he is so literal about things he says a lot of things that crack me up. I have found him in the bathtub wondering what to do because the shampoo says "for dry, damaged hair" and he wasn't sure if he should use it or not.

He would do anything for his sister. He tells her "Sage, we have loved each other from the very beginning. We have always loved each other because we're twins, right?

He looks up to Cooper and believes everything he says. He is also fiercely competitive with him. "Somedays we are best friends and somedays we are arch enemies." Cash's words.

He experiences the world so intensely. When he is joyful, it is a beautiful thing. When he is angry, it is an all consuming thing. When he is bored, it is a miserable thing. But when he says he loves you, it is a true thing.

Heaven on earth

Kendra and I took the kids to the grand opening of the new Harmon's. The kids enjoyed snacking around the store and carried their free vitamin water and popcorn home with pride. Sage won a key chain with a secret compartment and I found heaven on earth-- Spotted Dog Creamery Dulce de Leche ice cream. All the fat with none of the guilt. (It's a local small business that uses fresh local ingredients and has humane society dogs.) Your doing a good thing. Unbelievably tasty!!!!!!!!